I’ve never found much reason in life to be exceptionally happy. Like everyone else’s my life has been a series of highs and lows. More often lows than highs sadly.
I’ve always had to deal with difficult times, always telling myself “it has to get better”. For as long as I can remember I’ve got through life telling myself that what I was doing would lead to something wonderful, that this was a chance to improve my life. If my current position in life is anything to go on, however, this has all been a lie.
Currently I’m 21. I lack any significant education. I’ve only ever dated one woman, who damaged me so badly it has taken the better part of 4 years for me to be able to look at a woman and consider having romantic feelings for her. I have next to no friends in my real life(and only a few online). I have no job, no qualifications and lack the financial resources to try qualify as anything.
For the first time ever I can look at my life and honestly say I see no reason for it. I have no future to speak of and I add very little to anyone else’s life.
I find myself asking why I should continue in this life and I am unable to actually find a reason.